“Manifestation” has become quite a buzzword in the world of personal growth and transformation. We all want to manifest our dreams, don’t we? Ever since the movie “The Secret” became popular some years ago, many people now utilize the Law of Attraction to enhance their lives. Yet somehow, with all of the tips and information available to us, many people still aren’t manifesting the results they desire. The key lies in a subtle and often overlooked, yet enormously powerful manifestation tool that requires us to reframe our approach.
In the process of manifestation, it has been suggested that we first must become crystal clear on what we’d like to make real. Some people meditate on the outcome they desire and others set intention to put the vibration of their desire “out” to the Universe. Both of these techniques are critical to the manifestation process. To truly bring your desire to life however, you must engage in this additional tool that I’m excited to share with you. I’ve seen this tool bring forward incredible results in both my own life and in the lives of my clients:
Let go of form and stay connected to essence.
Huh? What happens with many people is that in the process of manifesting their dreams, they focus on the form they believe their desired result is supposed to take. In other words, what it needs to look like, how tall or big it is, the date it should arrive, the timing within which something will come to fruition, the person or place that they believe or desire their intended result to be. For example, you may think that your dream career may take the form of opening up a yoga studio, or that the thing that will give you the most passion is living in Brazil, or that the relationship of your dreams is with someone who is relatively in your age range and is as active as you are. There is tangible form here.
Essence on the other hand, is the quality of something; the feeling, texture and taste of the experience that is provided from any given scenario, object or event.
Let’s use the example of manifesting your dream career to distinguish between form and essence. Your intention is to get a new job. What’s that really about? Are you open to any job? Probably not. What’s the essence of the experience that you’re truly after? Perhaps it’s feeling that you are living on purpose while experiencing abundance easily in your life. Or perhaps you’re truly after having interactions with thought provoking, conscious individuals as part of a collaborative team where you can share yourself authentically while making a difference in the world. You can start to feel the essence there. In contrast, the form of this particular job might involve a career in a certain field that pays a certain amount of money or it may involve a daily commute or working in a gym. Feel the difference? The essence is what brings it alive.
Form is important, yet when we focus on it too much initially, it boxes us in. What I’m seeing over these years of coaching people all over the world, as well as in my own process of evolution, is that one of our greatest forms of suffering comes when we become too attached to form. By developing an expectation of when or how our desired outcome is supposed to play out, it locks us in and actually limits us from recognizing our dream when it arrives because we’re convinced it’s supposed to look a certain way.
It’s not the package that it shows up in that you want to be committed to. You want to be committed to what it’s going to feel like when you open that dream package. So, what’s the experience that you are truly after? When you bring your dream fully alive in your vision, how does that feel in your heart and your whole body? What are the qualities and textures of your dreams? It’s like becoming so familiar with a certain flavor of chocolate ice cream, that you’ll know if someone has given you another brand. You want to become that familiar with the essence of you’re dream.
The Universe is so much more creative than we can ever hope our minds to be. Think of all of those incredible moments in your life – were they exactly as you had planned them to be? Most likely not. Most likely the best moments in your life were better than you planned them to be. The Universe is limitless. When we require that something’s got to be a certain way because we attach to it’s form (who, what, where, when, how), we accidentally limit ourselves. Instead, stay connected to the essence of what you’re intending to manifest, and let the Universe deliver form that is beyond your wildest imagination.
When we are connected to the essence of our desires, we can taste the outcome we want. This then becomes the most powerful navigation system inside of you.
By prioritizing the essence of your dream and bringing it fully alive in every cell of your body, you’re now empowered to use it as a secret sorting tool inside of you that will quickly and easily allow you to recognize the right form when it appears. You’ll know if person A or opportunity B, if direction Right or path Left is the perfect one for you because it will conjure up the feeling of your dream’s essence inside of you. It won’t matter as much if a handsome man that you’re on a date with drives a BMW or rides a bike – you’ll know that it’s time for a second date because the conversation you’re having brings up the same feelings as the essence of your simple, beautiful, authentically delicious soul mate dream.
Personally, my connection to essence has been the secret key that’s lead me to the things I love most about my life. The joy that pulsed through my veins after each practice coaching session I offered confirmed to me that becoming a coach was the right track for me. It’s lead me to tremendous abundance, fulfillment and that specific feeling of living with a greater purpose that I had always dreamed of. And the softness in my belly actually led me to recognize my husband who I accidentally overlooked for years because his form wasn’t what I thought my husband’s form would be. Yet as I started spending time with him regularly, I noticed my body’s signals – my belly was soft, I felt vibrant yet totally relaxed and fluid. My experience with him each time we hung out was the exact same feeling of the essence of my dream relationship. It was crystal clear to me that he was the one.
So how do we use this subtle yet powerful technique to manifest the results we desire?
Here’s the step-by-step process to lock it in:
1. Name and clarify the dream that you want to manifest (dream job, soul mate partner, new home, financial abundance, baby, vacation, etc).
2. Imagine yourself already there. Bring forward this dream and start to feel yourself living already. What does it feel like when your soul mate love caresses the small of your back? What does it feel like when you make a difference in someone’s life by sharing your authentic gifts with them? What does it taste like to watch your kids ride their bikes down that country dirt road? Feel the essence of it all.
3. Notice your body’s response to this essence. This is key. You want to really take stock of the subtle body messages here. When you connect to the essence of your dream, what happens to your belly or your legs? Does your face soften? How do your shoulders and neck feel? How do you feel overall? Most often people feel a simultaneous sense of calmness and energy, freedom or power pulsing through them. Lock this into your cellular memory. This is your new “Form Radar” or GPS sorting tool.
4. Use this new essence sorting tool in your life. Take it out with you everywhere to see where the right form may be hiding. When making decisions in your life, ask yourself if this decision is going to have you feel the way you feel when you connect to the essence of your dream life. Does this job, person, place, object, food, etc. bring up that softness in your belly and that flutter in your heart? Do you feel that sense of freedom and rightness with the form (person, place, object, event, etc.) that you are engaging with? When a new opportunity arises, tune into the essence of it and be open to the limitless number of forms that it might take.
5. When you feel the essence of your dream taking a certain form, ACT FAST. Follow through. Jump in. Go for it! This is the dream you’ve been waiting for. It might look different than you expected or it may have taken longer to arrive than you wanted, but when it’s aligned with your dream’s essence, it’s time to act!
When you utilize this powerful tool and apply it to various people, scenarios, activities, etc., then suddenly you’re in the sweet zone. The world is your oyster and you’re able to manifest the results you truly desire. The power of this is beyond words and you’ll begin to notice how many opportunities arrive out of nowhere. You’ll know in your body and from the place of essence when something is right for you and you’ll be tapped into the limitless abundance of life.
Here’s to happy manifesting! May you be surprised and delighted by all that comes your way.
TAPPING INTO DIVINE WISDOM
Is there a larger plan for each of us? How do we know where we are supposed to go and how will we get there? These existential questions are common on the path of searching for enlightenment and truth, especially when we find ourselves at an important cross roads.
A friend recently asked me: "How do I figure out what the Universe has planned for me?". Our ability to access the answer within may be more simple than you realize.
There are many theories around fate, destiny and the potential power we possess over our own lives. It can feel scary to ponder these unknowns and overwhelming to try to answer these questions in a concrete way. Regardless of our religion, upbringing or spiritual practice, each of us has the ability to sit with a question and to become open to receiving clarity or guidance in the form of an answer. The process of accessing such deeper wisdom begins with honoring the process of being in question in and of itself. So often in our society, people are looking for a quick solution. We want to get things done, feel accomplished and move onto the next thing. When a tough question comes our way that we don't have an immediate answer to or solution for, it can feel incredibly frustrating. I wonder however: what might it be like to simply let this question live in you? What begins to open up for you when you allow yourself to sit with the unknown? In coaching, we call this type of open-ended question an "inquiry". An inquiry is the type of question that you chew on for a while. It may have several layers to it and usually, simply by being with and exploring the question itself, an answer begins to emerge. I invite you to pause and sit still. Sit down next to this question of the path that is meant for you and notice what arises.
Here are some techniques that you can begin to use that will create a safe and courageous container for you to explore your deepest questions. These tools will allow you to be in conversation with the Universe. We are co-creative, meaning that we work in partnership with life, and therefore it's important to open up to life's wisdom and to learn how to commune with the forces way bigger than ourselves.
Tips For Accessing Divine Insight & Understanding:
1. Allow yourself to be in the question and in the process. Ironically, when it comes to the divine, the answer is often in the question itself. Notice the magic of your question. See if you can appreciate the question, the mystery and the unfolding of life such that the question becomes enough on it's own, without actually needing an immediate answer. Usually when we need to know something so badly, right away, we are acting from a mindset of fear instead of our true center. Because we are afraid of the unknown, of the Great Mystery that is life, we feel the need to attach to something concrete, and this usually comes in the form of needing to know the "plan", the route, the answer. What part of you is trying to control the outcome by needing an answer to an unknown in this moment? What becomes available for you as you let yourself honor the great mystery that is here for you to journey through? How can you practice non-attachment, surrender and vulnerability? Keep your existential question in your back pocket and take it out from time to time during the day. See how your circumstances inform you and how they relate to what you know inside and all that you don't.
2. Utilize your body's wisdom. Although we are each divine and are made of spirit, we come equipped with a living, breathing, tangible human body. Ironically, this body is our doorway to the divine. Begin to notice your body's signals. When is it comfortable and relaxed? When do you feel alive, vibrant, clear and connected to life itself? When do you feel shrunken, contracted, uncomfortable or in danger? Our bodies are wiser than we can ever hope to be. They are constantly speaking to us and when we can learn to decipher their messages and honor our body's guidance, then we instantly become connected to our intuition, our inner wisdom and the larger force field of life. As you bring forward your potential vision of your path, check in with your body. How does your body feel if you were to follow through on Potential Life Path "A"? What messages does your body send you if you imagine yourself following through on Potential Life Path "B"? Notice how your throat, belly, shoulders, legs and energy feel when you follow through on your gut instinct vs. when you choose to act out of fear. Notice how much wisdom is actually available to you there. The quickest way to become aligned with the larger divine forces or with the Universe itself, is to follow through on the divine wisdom inside of you. Your body will tell you when you are in sync with your intuition or not. Honor this guidance and watch yourself open to deeper and deeper awareness, clarity and connection.
3. Get clear on what you already know.
You know a lot more than you may think and you have more power than you realize, even if you aren't in charge of the divine mystery that is at work in the greater scheme. I don't know if there is a "plan" for us. I don't know if God, the Universe or our soul chooses on our behalf along the way. What I do know is that we are here to evolve and that we are here to help one another on this sacred path. Even if there is something larger at play, you are still at choice throughout the day. It is your divine birth right, and your responsibility, to take ownership of your life and your relationship to your circumstances. We are always at choice. So... what do you know? What are you clear on right now? What is your intention for your life and your legacy? This is yours to solidify and more importantly, to claim. We are not passive victims. As Katherine Woodward Thomas says, "Life happens through us, not to us". You get to co-create your life with the Universe by standing in integrity, being intentional, getting clear and living in alignment with your truth. Some questions you can ask to get clear: What is most important to me? What do I owe to myself and to my legacy? What do I long to create, experience and contribute in my life? If I took full responsibility for my life and my situation, what is the next step I would take? What do I want to feel at the end of my life and what will get me there? These are big questions in and of themselves. Take your time. Get quiet and get clear. You'll see the Universe back you up immediately!
4. Practice the art of prayer and deep listening. This is where it starts to get fun and this is where we truly begin to access not only the inherent knowing that exists within us, but also the divine wisdom that resides beyond. Begin by centering yourself. You may want to download my free Centering Meditation MP3 to help center and expand your energy. When we are centered and expansive, we can tune into ourselves more easily as well as more effortlessly access divine answers. From that space, simply ask. You may ask God, the Universe, whomever or whatever source you need to ask. Offer the question: What is the greater plan for me? What is the greatest path of highest good for me and everyone else involved? You may also want to offer the question of: What are my greatest lessons? What am I here to learn? What do I need to accept or take responsibility for? What is it time to let go of? I like the approach of humility within the sacred container of prayer and meditation. Imagine your questions rising up or coming out from within. And then sit. Simply sit in silence and be. Be open, be accepting, without attachment, and see what comes. You may want to say aloud (or quietly within) that you are open to accepting and receiving, or that you are open to answers and guidance. As you sit, really practice being open and unattached. Something may come or something may not. It's ok, don't get frustrated. Be open to answers coming in all times and forms - sounds, sights, feelings, senses, intuition, etc. Eventually, the answers and insights will come. I like to think of prayer and meditation or deep listening like the ebb and flow of the breath: In prayer, we exhale - we offer our question or our longing. In meditation we inhale - we open to receive the clarity, acceptance and guidance from beyond.
This blog is a sacred invitation to bask in the Great Mystery of all that is. It is an invitation for you to rise to your own occasion and claim your longing, your calling and your truth. Here's to the questions, to the clarity and to the divine unfolding of it all.
How do we know what inner feelings and hunches to trust and which thoughts are just the voice of fear? Last Friday, my dear friend and conscious radio host, Polina Smith, had me on her new show, Inner Spark Radio!
Listen to the interview to learn what it means to connect to our intuition, and how we can distinguish between the voice of fear and the deeper trust inside of us. You'll learn what parts of yourself to honor and how to make the choices that are best for you. It was a fun show!
To listen to the free replay - CLICK HERE!
Hello beautiful ones!
Here we are, at the end of another phenomenal year. I find myself deeply grateful, reflective and hopeful for more growth and authentic fulfillment in 2014.
I found 2013 to be a great year of deepening my truth, expressing myself fully, leaning into more growing edges, evolving old fears, celebrating love, relishing in simple pleasures, community, family and learning to open my heart even wider. I have this little guy to thank for much of it. Meet my new puppy, Simi! He is outrageously cute and is teaching me so much. Here he is enjoying a zen moment on the beach in San Francisco.
As we wrap up the year, I invite you to reflect on the new territories you visited in 2013. How did you grow? What did you learn? What are you ready for next?
At the close of any cycle, it is important to make time for reflection, especially at the end of the year. Taking even 15 minutes for quiet space can provide the opportunity to tie up loose emotional ends, to realize how much you've actually accomplished, to feel complete within and to become clear on your vision for the coming year. You may want to go through old journals to see what your dreams were in January and to understand just how much you've transformed.
Here are some questions to ask yourself about 2013:
* What am I most proud of?
* In what ways did I grow the most?
* What moments proved my resiliency, courage and strength?
* What experiences lead to the most joy and fulfillment for me?
* What fears or old patterns did I move beyond?
* What is it time to leave behind so that I can be more of who I want to be in 2014?
* What is it time to forgive in myself and in others?
* What am I really clear on after this year that it's time for me to own?
My commitment to you is that I live and embody my own truth as courageously, vulnerably and joyously as I possibly can so that I can serve as an example and hopefully a source of inspiration for you to do the same in your own way.
Here's to an empowered, radiant and fully alive 2014! I have a bunch of new offerings in store to kick off the year including new radio interviews, a New Year Ritual, a workshop called "Sing Your Truth", new audio products, exciting classes and more. Stay tuned for more information coming soon!
Wishing you many blessings on your journey.
THE MAGIC IS HERE IF WE KNOW HOW TO OPEN UP TO IT...
As we celebrate Thanksgiving in the U.S., there is a lot of talk about gratitude. Thanksgiving is a holiday of harvest and abundance; reminding us to bask in the gifts of our lives and to generously give to others. It’s easy to experience gratitude when we are on vacation, or on a mountain top (literal or figurative), out in nature, with the breeze in our hair and our daily responsibilities far from the forefront of our minds.
But what about experiencing gratitude in the middle of a Tuesday? Or during a process of loss or uncomfortable growth? Or on one of those days where everything just seems to be going wrong? How can we connect to the magic of life that is here for us at any given moment and how does it benefit us to do so?
The secret to instant gratitude lies in the present moment.
Let’s face it – most of the time our focus is on the past or the future. We become consumed thinking about how things could have occurred differently in the past or we loose ourselves worrying about how things might come together in the future. How often have you replayed a past experience over and over in your mind? Or how often does your to-do list lure you into daydreaming or wanting to be somewhere else?
Residing in the past or the future is disempowering because we are only truly at choice in this very present moment. Living in the present moment empowers us because we can seize each moment as an opportunity to be at choice – with our thoughts, words, decisions, actions, beliefs and vibration. It is the only place where we get to change our mind and course correct. It is the only place where we get to notice gratitude, where we get to take a risk, to open and share ourselves. The present moment is actually where we get to heal the past and where we can truly influence our future – how perfectly ironic. Therefore, giving most of our awareness and attention to this very moment allows us to shift and mold our lives.
This very moment is where our opportunity lies to become grateful. It is our doorway to awakening to everything and anything that exists right now, right here, for us, as a blessing. When we focus on what is working and we awaken to what is truly available for us NOW, then we can begin to align ourselves with our ultimate life and truth. This is where the real magic takes place.
So how do we actually become present and once we are, how do we truly feel grateful and believe it? Awakening to the blessings of the present moment is a practice that requires life long cultivation. Just like practicing to speak up, learning to consistently act out of integrity and self love, being present to life’s magic requires that we strengthen a new muscle and make it part of our natural, daily approach to life. I find it’s something I’ve worked on for years and I sense I will continue to cultivate this practice for the rest of my days.
Tips For Becoming Present:
1. Pause. Most of us function on auto-pilot throughout the day, running from one activity to the next, trying to cross everything off of the to do list. In this state, we are focused on what’s next. We completely skip over ourselves and miss the opportunity to experience the magic of our truth in any given moment. To get present throughout the day, simply pause. If you are walking, running errands, driving around, etc., simply stop what you are doing and press pause for a minute. In that minute, breathe and close your eyes. Tune in. Ask yourself: what do I feel right now? What is my experience of life right now? The words “right now” are your entry ticket to the present moment. There is no need to do anything about how you feel. Simply feel it, acknowledge it and become present to what your experience actually is.
2. Use your body. The body is an enormous asset when it comes to getting present. It is the number one doorway to this very moment. Wherever you are (paused or moving), ask yourself: how does my heart feel right now? How does my butt feel on the chair? What do I feel in my neck or back?
3. Breathe. Our breath is the most consistent miracle that exists for us at any time. When we are moving too quickly through life we forget to breathe. Allow yourself to sit still and simply focus on the ebb and flow of your breath. In and out. In and out. All you have to do in this very moment is breathe. That’s it really. Bring your awareness to your experience of the enriching inhale and the cleansing exhale. Try to keep your focus on your breath for up to 3 minutes instead of letting your mind wander. If your mind wanders simply catch it without judgment and return to your breath.
Once we learn to become present to ourselves and our experience of the moment, we can begin to truly cultivate gratitude. Here are some easy ways to do so:
Tips For Cultivating Gratitude:
1. Focus on the tiny things. It’s very easy to get stuck in “Stickin’ Thinking” when we are focusing on the big things, such as love or a new job, that we don’t yet have. The key to finding gratitude and cultivating abundance is to become grateful for all of the tiny little things that we normally take for granted. Ie: be grateful for your fingers and toes. Be grateful for your breath. Be grateful for your couch and the roof over your head. Be grateful for electricity. Be grateful for the person who held the door open for you earlier today. By acknowledging these tiny blessings, we suddenly begin to feel all of the miracles around us. There is indeed a lot to be grateful for.
2. Gratitude as a first thought. Before opening your eyes in the morning, train yourself to think of all that you are grateful for. You might be grateful for the cozy warmth of your bed, grateful for a full night’s rest, grateful for your family and the people you work with, grateful for the love of your pets, grateful for the delicious, nutritious breakfast you are about to consume, grateful for your connection to spirit, grateful for the fact that you get to take a hot shower. Having gratitude immediately upon rising will shift your energy and ultimately set the stage for generating more abundance and positive circumstances throughout your day.
3. Express your gratitude. Thinking carries it’s own vibration, but voicing our gratitude has an even greater impact. Throughout your day practice expressing your thanks to the postman, the grocery clerk, your neighbor, and most importantly your loved ones. Every year at Thanksgiving my whole family will go around the dinner table and we each get a chance to voice what we are grateful for. It is so wonderful just sitting in the energy of everyone’s gratitude. There is laughter, joy and sometimes, even tears. This open hearted sharing brings us closer together and connects us more deeply to our loved ones and the miracle of life.
4. Shift your energy with gratitude. Sometimes life will “derail” us. We have a plan, we have a dream or goal and somewhere along the way things don’t turn out as we expected (for more on this topic, you can read my blog about learning to let go of our attachment to expectation). When this happens, it can be incredibly frustrating, yet this is the precise opportunity to return to the present moment. Each experience is a blessing, a teacher, a gift. When we can become grateful, we can open up yet again to all that is going right. To do so, take a step back and begin to collect evidence for all of the positive aspects of your current situation. Really tap into the gratitude that you have for the people you met along your journey, the lessons you have learned and the new experiences you gathered. Notice how quickly your energy shifts by appreciating all the magic and gifts that are here for you NOW, even though things are different than you expect.
We are in the season of gratitude, the joyous time of year where we get to connect with our loved ones, have cozy gatherings and tune into ALL the abundance, wonderment and positive blessings that are here for us.
Are you ready to up level your life and maneuver through this holiday season from a place of power and grace? Becoming present and cultivating gratitude are your ticket to doing so. My invitation to you is to take time throughout your day to notice where you are, to feel your body’s signals and to indulge in a deep breath or two. In the moments that you are off course pause, breath and find three tiny things in your life that you can be grateful about. I invite you to share what those things are in the comments below!
I am deeply grateful to connect with you here and to share my inspiration and passion with you. I acknowledge you for taking the time to invest in yourself and I wish you a most joyous, vibrant and deeply meaningful holiday season!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.
When we can begin to honor what our true feelings are inside, then we open the door to an ocean of untapped potential, vitality, power and joy that is waiting to be unleashed and experienced within. What type of people do you truly long to spend time with? If money wasn’t an issue, how would you spend your waking hours and what would you contribute to our world? What activities, places and people naturally light you up at this time?
Identifying Energy Drainers & Energy Enhancers:
Before we can fully consider this, it’s important to define what an energy drainer is and what an energy enhancer is. Energy drainers are activities, people, thoughts, habits, environments, foods, etc. that DEPLETE you of energy or that feel draining to you. After engaging in an energy drainer, you may feel slightly down, you may feel tired or be second guessing yourself; you may be full of doubt or feel as though you need to go for a run or take a shower to “wash” the bad energy off of you. Energy enhancers are commitments, activities, people, thoughts, habits, environments, foods, meditations, etc. that ENHANCE your energy or make your feel more alive! After spending time with an energy enhancer, you will likely feel inspired, you may feel more light or stronger in your body, you may feel more awake and refreshed and you will believe in yourself and your dreams more whole heartedly. Energy enhancers restore our faith in ourselves and in life. They give us a sense of inner peace or add an extra hop to our step. You may find yourself smiling or singing after spending time with an energy enhancer.
To identify your energy drainers and enhancers, I recommend the following exercise:
Make two columns on a piece of paper. On the left hand side write down energy drainers and write down your energy enhancers on the right. Make a list right away of people, situations and things you know deplete you and those that you know energize you. Then, throughout the week notice: Did that food I just ate energize me or deplete me? Did that meeting I had with that person energize me or deplete me? Did that walk through the park energize me or deplete me? Really take a look at how you are feeling during each activity, interaction or choice that you engage in. Make sure to add to your lists throughout the week.
Follow The Energy!
Now, for the real challenge, practice following the energy! Follow those things that bring you alive and restore you. Be relentlessly committed to following through on the energy givers in your life and practice saying no to all that drains you. If it’s an energy drainer and it’s not aligned with your higher vibration and dreams, then don’t put your energy towards it. Preserving our energy for only things that bring us alive will ensure that we are living in alignment with our dreams.
Following the energy is similar to following your intuition, yet it’s more dialed in. It’s about really feeling into what brings you alive and following through on that even if you’re afraid. My invitation to you is to be deliberate about what you’re putting your energy towards in your life. This doesn’t mean letting go of responsibilities and not paying our bills because we don’t enjoy that task. Rather, this is about practicing discernment. This is about practicing self love and self respect. This is about honoring what you long for deep down inside and taking the risk to make it part of your life for real so that you can create a bridge that will take you from where you are now to where you wish to be.
The Thing That Stops Us Short:
Here’s the deal. We always know what’s best for us and what brings us the most joy and vitality. The problem is that we’re afraid to own it. We’re afraid to rock the boat, to offend someone, and most of all… we’re afraid that we’ll end up alone, broke or bored.
Yet living a life that is rich, full of energy, abundant and wildly fulfilling requires that we take risks. It requires that we follow the energy even if our knees are shaking and we are so stuck in our own drama of how it might be risky to do so. It’s your job and responsibility to be the pioneer of this new path in your life. You get to be the pioneer who follows the energy by coming out of invisibility, speaking your truth, following through on what you know is best for you and making resonant choices that bring you alive. We are building a new muscle here. It’s time to only say yes to all those things that bring you closer to your dream, that take you to the experience of life that you long for.
On A Personal Note:
As we shift into the winter months and near the holiday season, there can be a lot of pressure to stay busy, extroverted and outwardly focused. Personally, after a wonderfully prolific and successful 2013, I found that this fall, as the days shortened and the temperature dropped, I experienced a profound need to go inward. My desire to be quiet and internal was so strong that it actually surprised me. After putting so much energy out in the form of my life’s work this year (did you check out my awesome course ALIGNED or my transformational Reignite Your Radiance Retreat?) and enjoying thoroughly, I suddenly needed to restore my energy. Instead of the usual social activities, projects and group programs that typically invigorate me, I found that what energized me most was curling up on the couch with a good book and indulging in the occasional afternoon nap. I even took a 4-day personal retreat to some natural hot springs all by myself in October. On one level it felt risky to do this as I always want to provide great content for you and stay engaged with those of you who take my classes regularly. Yet I chose instead to trust that following the energy in my life would lead me to the right path. I know that these days my energy enhancers are coming in the form of yummy, home cooked meals, cozy nights on the couch, quiet walks alone and taking a break from holding space for others. I know that following this inward desire will lead me to yet another prolific, exciting and creative phase in my life that I’ll get to share with you. Following our true energy ALWAYS leads us to a healthy, loving, abundant and fulfilling place. Guaranteed.
My Invitation To You:
My invitation to you this season is to tune into yourself even more. Practice discernment and follow through on your energy enhancers. Honor yourself and what you truly long for. I promise it will lead you to the place you want to be… and if you’re lucky, it will take you even further… to the place beyond your wildest expectations.
Here’s to your energy!
SAY YES TO YOUR TRUTH BY LEARNING TO SAY "No"
Last week, we enjoyed a glorious full moon in San Francisco where I live. The fullness of the moon represents a time to go inward towards ourselves. It's a potent reminder to nourish ourselves fully and bask in our wholeness. Did you see it? Did you FEEL it?
Recently, I've noticed my own desire to go inwards more. After expressing my life's work so much this year and putting on a phenomenal Reignite Your Radiance Retreat! at the end of August, I know it's time to refuel my tanks and bask in my inner creativity again. It's felt wonderful to slow down and practice RADICAL self care. Just like the ocean ebbs after it flows, we too are called to go inward and swim in our own creative oceans of True Self after periods that are more dynamic and externally focused. By allowing ourselves to go inwards, we become so full up that we can't help but express and birth projects and LIFE itself through us.
In honoring my delicious journey inwards right now, I notice how important it's been for me to enforce more boundaries than usual so that I can truly create the restorative and creative space that feels so right for me these days. It's been a while since I have enforced a good "No!" in my life and let me tell you, it feels AWESOME to honor myself so deeply and share my gracious and loving "No" with others. It feels great because I've learned that by saying "No", I'm actually saying YES to my truth; saying YES to my fulfillment, my purpose, health and happiness. Saying "No" becomes fun and easy when we approach it in this way.
For many, especially women, setting boundaries can be terrifying. People often fear that by saying "No", they may disappoint another, be deemed selfish, potentially destroy an important relationship or even be left alone and broke. You may even feel powerless and voiceless in the face of needing to exert a boundary with another. It's SO critically important to know how to set boundaries with an open heart and how to honor the YES in our life by learning to say "No" graciously.
Ready to say YES to your ultimate life? Ready to say YES to freedom, authentic connections, joy, purpose and love? Start aligning yourself with all you want by learning to say "No!".
I wish you an abundant, juicy and restorative fall season. Stay tuned because I know this replenishing phase of mine is going to yield TONS of exciting new material and opportunities from me. I'll be excited to share it all with you!
Happy boundary setting!
LEARNING TO CREATE A "TRANSFORMATION VACATION"
I'm inspired to share a transformative shift that I recently experienced: Last week I toured the property of the Stillheart Institute where I'm hosting my upcoming Reignite Your Radiance Transformational Summer Retreat (more info on that below). It was a hectic day for me, a classic, busy "Monday" and I did not feel centered. Even as I began to hike their gorgeous hiking trail amidst the trees, I noticed that I was rushing.
So I created what I like to call a "Transformation Vacation", or an "In-Between Moment". In between my busyness, my plan of action and smack dab in the middle of my life, I paused. Literally, I sat myself down on a tree stump and put myself in a time out. I felt my feet on the earth. I noticed how my body felt, and I gave myself a few good, slow, deep breaths.
Within moments, I was transformed. I went from chaotic, rushed and stressed about time to centered, spacious and reconnected to my intuitive wisdom. I went from mindlessly making my way through the woods to becoming AWAKE, ALIVE and APPRECIATIVE of my incredible surroundings. At that moment, a family of 3 deer appeared. We shared a quiet and magical moment together before they took off. I was totally reinvigorated and inspired. All it took was 3 minutes of intentional "vacation" time on my part, and I was a new person.
How often do you hear this inner dialogue running through your head?:
* There's never enough time to get everything done so I can relax
* I'll be able to exhale once I find love, complete the laundry, loose 10 ten pounds...
* I can fix this nagging issue if I figure out what to do about it
* I should, I should, I should....
This approach to life is SO common in our society and it's the reason why you're struggling to find peace, balance and freedom in your life. They KEY to fixing this is learning how to create a "Transformation Vacation" on the spot. It's all about loving yourself enough to create an In-Between moment dedicated JUST TO YOU. Not to your kids, not to your spouse, not to your inbox, not to your clients or your girlfriend who needs advice. I'm talking about taking a TRUE, Time Out For YOU.
Who Do You Become?
Who do you become when your tanks are full? What happens to your resentment when you've gotten enough sleep or enough alone time to putter around the house in your unique way? What becomes available to you when you move your body or take an hour in nature or by the ocean? Imagine all that you could give to the people in your life if you approached life from a place of inner fullness and radiance? Imagine how the light within you could spill out and inspire, heal, touch others.
The Hard Truth:
I'm going to tell it to you straight: You're not Superwoman. You're not Superman. You can't do it all, nor do you need to. You'll exhaust yourself trying, trust me, I've been there. But you do need to rise to your own occasion. You do need to be your own SuperHero daily by tending to your needs, enforcing boundaries, connecting to yourself, coming back to your center and your heart when fear or auto-pilot mode has gotten the best of you. It's your responsibility to experience the richness within your life. It's here for you. And it requires that you slow down to catch it, to notice it and bask in it.
So How Do We Create This Shift?
Creating a "Transformation Vacation" smack dab in the middle of your life is actually very easy to do. While you may decide that a truly transformative vacation involves plane tickets to a resort in Kauai (which usually works every time!), creating a restorative and centering shift within you does not require much time or money. Actually, without this secret formula for inner shifts, even a luxurious vacation in Hawaii won't restore you. Here are the key steps:
1. Catch It. Often times we are stuck in a moment of frustration, exhaustion, being rushed, etc. and we don't even realize that that's where we are. The first step is to lovingly and curiously catch yourself in your non optimal state.
2. Pause and Breath. Sit yourself down somewhere to simply pause for a moment and breath. If you're at a busy party, then go to the restroom and sit yourself down in a private stall for a moment. Stop making dinner and sit on the couch. Sit in your car before entering your home or the social engagement you're about to attend.
3. Notice & Name It. Tune into your body. How does it feel? Where do you feel tension or relaxation? Name that. What emotions do you feel? Use inner language that keeps you in the detached position of the Sacred Observer. For example: "I feel some anxiety" here or "I notice that I'm rushed and detached from myself". This approach keeps you from becoming the emotion itself (i.e. avoid saying "I'm anxious" or "I'm rushed").
4. Clarify Your Needs. Take a moment to clarify what you need. Perhaps all you needed was this momentary pause. Perhaps you're clear that you're moving at lightening speed because you are avoiding something or you've scheduled yourself too tightly. What do you need? Maybe it's to communicate to your friend or to reschedule something. Maybe what you need most is a nap or a little downtime to yourself so you can get clear on your next steps.
5. Return To Trust & Gratitude. Remember that it's all OK. You can handle it and you can trust in your own abilities to navigate your life. Give yourself this reminder and notice what you can be grateful for in this very moment. I promise you there's at least one thing to be so appreciative of. Perhaps you can simply be grateful for the "Transformation Vacation" you provided yourself with in the midst of your full and glorious life.
Taking Longer Than A Minute
As much as I'm a believer in creating momentary shifts, I know that in order to TRULY restore and re-center ourselves, it requires removing ourselves from our normal environment. Other ideas for a "Transformation Vacation":
* Go for a hike smack dab in the middle of your work day
* Sit outside and each your lunch in the sun instead of at your computer
* Go for a walk at the beach before coming home to cook dinner
* Schedule a massage for yourself
* Attend your conference call from your favorite pastry shop, expansive view, etc.
* Schedule your babysitter for 30 minutes longer than you actually need so you can get time to yourself
* Sit in your car and listen to your favorite relaxing music before entering your home
* Take the scenic route home while singing along to your favorite, re-energizing song
The need for these longer breaks is the reason why I created my upcoming Reignite Your Radiance! Transformational Summer Retreat where you'll be pampered with organic food, movement and meditation. You will be empowered through group coaching sessions, heart-opening rituals and enlightening workshops in nature that will connect you to yourself as you refuel your body and soul.
There are only 2 spots left in what will undoubtedly be a memorable, transformative experience in your life. You can still bring a friend for $200 Off and snag those last two spots together. Both men & women are welcome! Secure your spot HERE.
Ready to transform?
Whatever we focus on becomes our life. This is especially important and noticeable during times of change. Are you manifesting what you desire by focusing on what's working or are you remaining stuck by focusing on all that is not going your way? In this video I share the Tale of Two Wolves to teach you how to focus on what's working so you can get maximum results in your life! View it on my YouTube Channel HERE.
FINDING THE COURAGE TO CHOOSE HAPPINESS
Our society is on the perpetual hunt for more happiness. As a Transformational Coach, I encounter a LOT of people who want to be happier in their lives. Just this morning, a client expressed to me: "I just want to be happy!". Happiness has turned into something that people believe is outside of themselves as if they play no role in creating it, like something you can buy at the store.
What I see more than anything is that people are longing for deep fulfillment, not just happiness. People want a sense of richness, depth, purpose, direction, contribution, freedom and joy in their lives. What's amazing is that in every state of "unhappiness", nearly 100% of the time people know what it is that is making them unhappy. And they KNOW what they need to change in order to become more fulfilled in their lives.
HAPPINESS ISN'T THE ISSUE.
The issue then may not actually be happiness or unhappiness. The issue really becomes about the courage and willingness to do what it takes to make yourself and your life "happy". The feeling of living a miserable life arises when we are too afraid to acknowledge or own what we need to change. The feeling of boredom, dried up, I-don't-even-know-where-to-begin, emerges when we are living out of alignment with our truest nature. The fear of changing the status quo keeps us stuck in our misery; in our small, old, habitual way of the familiar, yet suffocating "comfort" zone.
In our society, we are terrified of disappointing others, we are terrified of the unknown and of rocking the boat. It is the loyalty to this fear that keeps people stuck, miserable and playing small. It is your lack of courage to change that is making you feel "unhappy". To be truly fulfilled in your life, you must allow yourself the sheer pleasure, the gift and the responsibility of structuring your life so that it is in alignment with your most authentic truth inside. If you are someone who needs space in your calendar to be creative and thrives when you experience collaboration and variety, then most likely you will be unfulfilled in an administrative job that requires you to work rigid hours. If you are someone who loves to talk about current world affairs and marvels at the rich experiences of your life, then most likely you will be unfulfilled at a dinner party where people are focused on fashion and reality TV. If you are someone whose truest nature is to be visionary, inspired and playfully express yourself, then most likely you will be unfulfilled in a romantic relationship where your partner is threatened or uncomfortable with you in the spot light. You can begin to see where living out of alignment with your truth is actually the thing causing your unhappiness. Under different circumstances that reflected and celebrated your truest needs and authentic nature, I'd be willing to bet that you'd be radiantly HAPPY. Our true nature is happy... and it's simple. We allow fear, assumptions, worry and lack of trust to overcomplicate things for us.
FINDING THE COURAGE TO CHANGE.
So how do we obtain and strengthen the courage to change? Here are 5 key steps that will help you muster up the courage to change things in honor of living your most radiantly juicy and deeply fulfilling life:
1. Acknowledge your dream. I have a question for you: What do you OWE to yourself? What will you regret at the end of your life if you do not make it happen? What is the dream inside of you that you have buried so far down below that you can't remember what it even is? If you want to have the courage to create more happiness, then you need to be willing to look under the bed, dust off the boxes and take your dream out once again. You need to put that dream in the light and tend to it daily, watering it with your loyalty and intention, caring for it by making it a priority once again. The first step to finding the courage to change is admitting that you actually desire happiness and to clarify what that looks like for you. You will not be able to develop the courage to change if you're not willing to admit that you want something different than what you've got now. You must let your dream live. Let it shine!
2. Make your dream more important than your fear. Are you going to feed your desire for happiness or feed your fears? Are you going to prioritize your dream life or prioritize your sense of obligation to others? If you are not living your dream than you are living someone else's, and in all likelihood, that's keeping you miserable. So you're at a moment of choice: you can choose to stay stuck, stay small, stay co-dependent, stay worried or you can choose to honor this amazingly radiant, loving and authentic truth and knowing within you. You can choose to let your fear drive the bus of your life or you can step into the driver's seat yourself. It's your life and it becomes whatever you choose to make of it, so the choice is yours. The time is now to choose a new direction of loyalty to your happiness. No more loyalty to your fear and tiny comfort zone.
3. Step into Radical Responsibility. As Katherine Woodward Thomas says, "Life happens through us, not to us". You are not a passive victim in your life. In order to live the life that you truly desire, you must be willing to accept Radical Responsibility for your circumstances and all aspects of your life. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner landscape. If you are focused on what's not working then not much will work for you. If you are tending to your happiness and taking responsibility to change yourself then change and happiness will happen. The good news is that taking radical responsibility puts you in a wonderfully empowered position. Own the fact that YOU are the one who will change your life and you'll be much more excited to jump in and do so.
4. Be willing to say NO. One of the biggest roadblocks that people have when trying to create a truly fulfilling and rewarding life is their fear of disappointing others. I'm going to give it to you straight: I guarantee that you will disappoint at least one person in your life by choosing to walk down the path of YOUR truth and happiness. AND... that's a really great thing! It means that you're beginning to honor what's true for you instead of just going along with others or with whatever is presented to you. It means you're starting to be intentional and give energy to those things and people that light you up instead of pull you down. When you say NO to one thing, you say YES to something else by default. (You can read my full blog article about that HERE). So let yourself say NO. Say NO to the job that is sucking you dry. Say NO to the relationship that isn't what you actually want. Say NO to the incredibly lucrative, sexy, potentially delicious opportunity that is being offered to you but doesn't feel right somewhere inside. This will fill your courage tanks to FULL. I promise you that you'll be OK (actually, I bet you'll be more than OK - you'll be HAPPY) after you enforce boundaries with others and choose instead to follow the energy of your YES. I promise you that you'll be happier by taking the risk of leaving behind what so clearly isn't working for you. Let yourself step into happiness by practicing saying NO to all that isn't working for you.
5. Shift your perspective about the unknown. Many people in our society are more comfortable when there is a plan and when the future is "secure". I am guilty of this myself at times. The unknown can be a wildly scary land to explore and yet, it's the only guarantee we have as we cannot predict the future. Thank goodness we cannot predict our future - can you imagine how boring life would be without any mystery at all? I invite you to embrace the unknown and instead of seeing it as a daunting, threatening thing, start to view it as a yummy, juicy place where you can anticipate and taste your happiness growing and growing. The whole point is to experience what you haven't known before because what you've known thus far hasn't been fulfilling for you (if it was, you wouldn't want more happiness). So let yourself step into the unknown with delight, curiosity, trust and yummy anticipation for all of the wonderfully new and fulfilling things you are creating. See it as a journey to the best place you've ever been.
Change is risky. There is always a risk, no matter how you slice it - leaving your current situation for hopes of a better one doesn't come with a guarantee. What you know in this moment is that you're unhappy. So I invite you to take a risk. Take that leap of faith that feels so right and tingly inside even though you're so afraid that your teeth are chattering. Take the risk of walking towards your happiness and creating a totally NEW way that is actually freaking amazing and unknown. Take the risk of allowing life to provide for you once you own your YES. The day will come when the risk of playing small is greater than the risk of shining. I invite you to seize that day, jump in with both feet and GO FOR IT! Your utterly happy dream life awaits you.
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About Rony Reingold
Rony Reingold, HLC, CPCC is CEO of Embodied Truth Coaching. As a Certified Holistic and Transformational Coach, Motivational Speaker, Forthcoming Author and Inspirational Change Agent, Rony works with people who are ready to claim their lives and create more freedom, power, purpose and joy for themselves on a daily basis. Rony has guided countless clients across the globe towards inner and outer success by helping them clarify, claim and then create their personalized dream life. Rony specializes in working with individuals and groups who are awakening to something more and are ready to step into their deepest fulfillment and full potential.