MY NEW INSPIRATIONAL BOOK ANTHOLOGY BECOMES AVAILABLE ON AMAZON THIS FRIDAY, JUNE 6TH!
In just 3 days, the book anthology that I co-authored, In Pursuit of the Divine, will be released on Amazon. I was invited to participate in this incredible, inspiring and impactful collaboration by my friend and the book's compiler, Krista Gustavson who asked that each of the book's 30 co-authors share our stories of empowerment and transformation more truthfully, vulnerably and courageously than ever before. The result is a collection of stories that is incredibly real, totally inspirational and packed with tools to empower women around the globe. This is our time. This is YOUR time. To be utterly and gloriously YOU and to shine your light fully for your sake, the sake of your loved ones and the sake of our world. This book will empower you to do so. Stay tuned for the Amazon link which will become available on Friday so that you can purchase the book for yourself and all the other women who are important to you!
The purpose of this book is to inspire and empower Women all over the world to reclaim their Feminine Power and align with who they are so they can fully express their deepest truth. Each co-author invites you to witness their own Transformational Journey, one that empowered them to be who they are today as the Feminine Rising. Each chapter reveals the truth, what they discovered on their path to cultivate healing within themselves. Each story reveals the beauty already inherent in each one of us, a unique journey where a time of darkness initiated deep feminine wisdom of spectacular threads woven together in a tapestry of courage, bravery, trust and triumph In Pursuit of the Divine.
MEET THE CO-AUTHORS!
I joined forces with 29 other healers, coaches, visionaries and thought leaders from around North America and the U.K.
Each co-author will touch your heart and speak to your soul, giving you greater awareness, clarity and inspiration. You will learn that losing yourself in the midst of pain, grief and loss can be a portal to strengthen and empower ourselves. I invite you to step into your own story so that your true purpose can be revealed. When we are completely aligned with our Purpose, we are the greatest contribution to the world.
Our Purpose is to inspire and empower Women all over the globe with our transformational stories. Every Woman has experienced some form of disempowerment in her life leaving behind traces of her pure essence; she then becomes hidden from the world. Our purpose is to expand your awareness, acknowledge you and provide a sanctuary to reclaim your own Feminine Power. Women now more than ever are being called upon to come together as a collective entity. With our unique offerings, we have a desire to support you and guide you in activating your own inner wisdom so you can align yourself with the greatest expression of who you are and know your purpose in the world.
WATCH THIS VIDEO ABOUT MY CHAPTER TITLED "WHEN SPIRIT CALLED ME HOME".
This is the most HONEST blog I’ve written to date. I’m putting my truth out on the table in an act of radical self love. Here you go...
Happy Valentines Day! To all of you who are in love and those of you who crave love, I wish you a happy day of honoring how love can show up even more in your life. In recent years I’ve begun to consider Valentine’s Day the day of practicing more Self Love. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be having a special evening with my honey tonight and I’m very grateful for that. But I’m also clear that I wouldn’t have gotten to this point of dinner and music with my husband if it wasn’t for self love.
As the Universe would have it, I'm being given yet another opportunity to practice profound self love these days. After getting married and going through what felt like a major spiritual portal of self growth and evolution a few months ago, I became ready to birth my life’s work. Truly. I’ve had a few ideas and dreams brewing in me for close to a decade now and I am finally ready to share them with the world. (Ironically, I needed to go through some major dark times and undergo a process of intense physical healing and restructuring of my life to become ready). The birthing of my dream is coming in the form of ALIGNED, a revolutionary 7-week transformational program that begins on April 3rd. You’ll be hearing all about it in the coming weeks :-). This is the culmination of everything I’ve been through, all that I’ve learned and integrated, as well as how I coach my clients towards living their ultimate lives. I really believe in this work and stand fully behind this process. It's how I live.
WHAT'S SELF LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
I became ready to offer these teachings because I love myself enough to commit to being the person I wanted to become. That person is living the dream that has been brewing in my belly. That person is humbly and courageously offering her own teachings based on her experience of walking the path of truth and reaping it's rewards. That person knows that all she can really do is walk her own path fully and by doing so can model the option to others of doing the same for themselves. I OWE it to myself to birth this dream of ALIGNED and the other offerings I'll be sharing this year. I can’t not do it anymore and in doing so I have to practice Self Love more radically than I ever have before. The old me who used to cut corners and step over her intuition and body occasionally is not the woman leading these courses. The old me who was an amazing film and photo producer because she handled every detail, burned the midnight oil and put others first is not the woman who models embodied truth by honoring the pace of her spirit and surrendering to what she cannot control. The old me who over scheduled herself and remained in her head instead of living and loving from her body is not the woman who will balance career, partnership and family rooted in simple pleasures and generous love. The continued fruition of my dream depends on me loving myself enough to gently put down another layer of my old skin yet again and become again and again who I'm meant to be.
WHO IS THE NEW YOU THAT YOU'RE BECOMING?
When I work with my clients on who they are becoming, we often give a name to the new them. This allows them to really identify and personify the charicteristics of their future self. Luckily for me, I’ll naturally be changing my name this year since I recently became married. My new name is Rony Reingold, which so wonderfully means “Pure Gold”. I’ve seized this as my opportunity to really slide into the skin of the me I am becoming. I am Rony Reingold and it's been very fun to define exactly what that means for me. It creates a new land to live in and an opportunity to step fully into my highest self.
So who are you becoming? And if you’re not sure of that yet, who do want to be? Who is that person within you that you owe it to yourself to become? How do they live their life? How do they dress? What car do they drive? What music do they listen to or do they choose instead to sit in silence? What is their body like when they sit at the computer? What is their relationship with food like? What is their relationship with themselves , their children and their soul mate like? How do they respond to situations that trigger them or situations that fulfill them? What brings them ALIVE?
THE RAW TRUTH: A DANCE BETWEEN OLD AND NEW
When my husband catches me in my old mode of being driven and over-extended, he calls me "The Producer". It's kind of a joke, but more of a gentle reminder to check myself and remember my new definition of what it means to produce and create from within. There’s no room for my old ways if I’m going to truly fulfill this dream and embody Rony Reingold and all she means to me. The new me produces and creates, in fact it brings me alive, but I do so from the center of the goddess within me; of the humble teacher and the person who fully and joyously dances down my own path of empowered self actualization for the sake of personal evolution and inspiring others.
I’ll be honest with you, there are days when I get consumed by the old anxious and controlling producer in me – she lures me into working late, getting disconnected from my body and stretching myself thin. This is my deepest self sabotaging pattern and at times it feels that the new me and the old me are engaged in quite an arm wrestle, each trying to prevail! However as I’ve experienced through evolving beyond other patterns in my transformational journey, when we practice radical Self Love, slowly but surely the new way prevails – in a peaceful and effortless, simple kind of a way. It’s beautiful. And I know that I’m already here. The new me embodies such a deep love of self that when I catch myself in an old way I simply stop and take a breath. I put my hand on my heart, I go for a walk outside, I sing or do a yoga posture to get back into my body. I ask for a hug. Within minutes or sometimes hours, I’m back to embodying Rony Reingold. It feels incredible. This is the path. This is the work. This is what it means to Embody our Truth.
ARE YOU IN?
When we have a dream on the line, we can’t afford not to step up and love ourselves radically. We just can’t. So... what do you OWE to yourself? What is the dream that it’s time to get back in touch with and who do you need to be to make that dream a reality?
Ultimately, the question I'm asking you is: Are You IN? Are you willing to jump into the land of BEING the You You Are Becoming right now? Are you willing to check yourself and bring awareness to yourself when you get stuck in your old ways? Are you willing to take responsibility for those moments when you take things personally and act like a victim, when you react instead of respond, when you feel defeated but know you must continue? Are you willing to gently and simply catch it and choose the new way instead? What will open up for you if you begin to retrain yourself in this way?
I can tell you from my own experience and from the growth I see in my clients that a whole new world of peace, empowerment, connection, freedom, joy and purpose is available to you if you’re willing to start truly LOVING yourself. When you put yourself first and fuel your tanks, speak honestly, take risks in honor of being fulfilled and allow yourself to be seen I guarantee you SO much will open up for you.
You may be afraid to love yourself this radically out of fear that you’ll be deemed selfish, you’ll have to leave your job or you’ll end up alone. If this is how you feel than I invite you to check the story you are telling yourself in your head – most likely there’s a nice, sneaky Saboteur here for you. It’s natural for our saboteurs to show up when we start practicing self love because it threatens their way of being. It threatens the life of the small, shrunken, fearful, accommodating, burnt-out old way. Of course your saboteurs will put up a fit to get your attention when you're about to grow and love yourself majorly. But you’re at choice. You can get sucked into that propoganda in your head or you can simply practice having awareness in the moment and choosing yet again your new way. You can be the you you are becoming.
GO FOR IT!
I cannot wait for April 3rd to come around! It will be the deepest and most profound expression of my truth thus far and I am giddy with excitement to share it all with you. I’ll be teaching you the exact step by step process that I put myself through to walk through the portal of physical, emotional and spiritual transformation. I’ll be sharing with you how I found my truth and what I had to do to reorganize my life to align with it, leading me to my soul mate, my dream career, a healing body and lovely home. It’s the same process I take my clients through and I’m blown away by the inner peace, clarity, deepening of heart, power and spirit that they are experiencing.
As you go about this Valentine’s Day, I invite you to practice more Self LOVE today than you’ve ever practiced before. Become the witness of your own experience and practice catching yourself in the old pattern and shifting into the You You Are Becoming instead. Start to notice the difference in behavior, habits, patterns and response to life in general between the old or current you and the you you are becoming. How does your future self show up in conversation? Is he/she generative and constructive or reactive and small? How would the new you handle this situation? What does the new you want for lunch?
I’m here with you, standing for you, stretching myself as you stretch yourself beyond what you’ve known thus far and into unknown lands of gloriously rich and fulfilling new territory! Your pool of Self Love awaits you. Ready to jump IN?
I am a big fan of clarifying one's vision at the start of any new cycle and the new year is a powerful time to get clear, intentional and empowered. In doing so, most people make a list of New Year's resolutions, focusing predominantly on what they want to accomplish during the year. While this is helpful towards achieving one's goals, most often New Year's resolutions loose their relevance and excitement by March, falling flat. In this video, learn why New Year's resolutions don't work and learn how to engage in a beautiful, invigorating, meaningful and powerful intention setting ritual that will connect you to your purpose, power and joy as you manifest easily in 2013! I welcome your comments below - feel free to share your intentions for the year!
AWAKEN TO YOUR TRUTH
On August 13th, I was interviewed by spiritual friend and radio host Jeff Daugherty of NC Kaballah radio. Hundreds of people tuned in to join the conversation and learn how simply BEING YOURSELF is one of the most potent doorways to accessing the divine.
In this juicy hour long show I share the following:
* How to identify what has meaning to you
* How to get in touch with and realize your dreams.
* Tips and small steps to easily bring spirituality into your daily life.
* How the right brain can be used to bring your dreams alive.
* The critical connection between nutrition and spirituality.
Here's what people have said about the show:
"Folks, this is one lady that GETS IT. She is the one you have been looking for to help you get to the next level." - Jeff Daughterty
"Amazing talk last night. It's insane how many of your messages have been completely in line with has been going on in my life. Thank you for the reminders. Look forward to reading/listening to more." - N.M.
"That was great! I listened to the whole thing and it really touched me because I have been feeling out of alignment lately. Thanks so much!" - M.P.
To listen to the FREE Replay, visit here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nckabbalah/2012/08/14/nckfriends
I'd love to hear your comments and questions after you've heard the show! Feel free to share below. For more information on Jeff Daughterty visit his website HERE. To read my personal story of awakening and how the Embodied Truth Coaching Program can change your life click HERE.
Thanks for tuning in!
LEARNING TO LET GO OF HOW WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
Oh expectation. Like our favorite item on the highest shelf of the cupboard that we simply cannot reach, you tease us and beckon us to loose ourselves before you.
We have all had the experience of being disappointed because of not having our expectations met. It can show up simply or it can consume us. Attachment to expectation is a powerful force that can potentially pull us completely out of center, out of being grateful and present in the moment. It has the power to put our Saboteurs in the drivers seat, to create strife and adversely affect our relationships and opportunities for growth.
Think of a time when you went to see a movie that everyone raved about. Because you expected to be thoroughly entertained, you ended up being let down. As compared to other times when you didn't even know what the movie was about and you ended up loving it. While being let down by a movie is a simple example, it demonstrates how casually we get sucked into the pattern of expecting things to be a certain way. The disappointment from unmet expectations around larger experiences in life can feel devastating and be potentially destructive. This tends to be particularly relevant for most people when they develop expectations regarding major life events such as birthdays, marriage, having children, a new job or relationship, etc. Sometimes it's just not what we thought it would be.
A PERSONAL CONFESSION & LEARNING
Recently, as some of you may know, I got engaged. There was some build up to the anticipated event in the months leading up to the proposal and I admit that I began to develop oddly specific expectations of how I thought the big question would get asked. In fact, as I reflect back on the occasion, I unknowingly came into it with a life time of expectation - years of societally influenced dreams and hopes of how my Beloved would one day propose to me in the most overly romantic and perfect way. I also came into it with a pesky, unfamiliar pressure to have a sensational engagement story to share with friends and really society at large. You can hear the Saboteur in this already, the drama and illusion of perfection and the pressure to be over the top. Of course nothing in life is exactly how we expect it to be and most things are not "perfect". Indeed, as the Universe would have it, my phenomenal fiance proposed in a most beautiful way that truly represented who we both are.... And, it was quite different than the elaborate and inauthentic vision of perfection that I envisioned of how I thought it would go. Admittedly, I had to practice self management during the event so that I could appreciate all of his efforts and see the gifts in front of me instead of attaching to an idea that I had conjured up in my head. In being honest with my phenomenal fiance about it later, we both had great learning around letting go of expectations and releasing parts of ourselves that no longer serve us. We also were able to name what is truly important to us and therefore able to appreciate that in one another even more.
Thank goodness that he proposed the way that he did! He captured the true essence and spirit of our relationship wonderfully and in a way that was beautifully authentic. Had my detailed fantasy expectation been played out, we would have missed out on the authentic little moments that represent our relationship. My expectation was unrealistic and not truly aligned with who I am becoming or who I want to be in my relationship.
Key Learning: More often than not, our expectations are unrealistic and while they point to our hopes and dreams, when we attach to them or require them to become reality, then they will turn on us and keep us contracted and small. How then do we balance dreams and fears? How do we decipher that which is really important and that which we should insist on, from those things we can let go of for the sake of our learning?
LOOK FOR UNDERLYING CORE VALUES
The answer lies in identifying our core values. Ultimately, high expectations are a sign that we long for something; that we have vision, hopes and dreams or that something is very important to us. If we are really contracted around our expectations, then they are a signal that something important to us is being overlooked or stepped over. Attachment to expectation can inform us of our core values if we allow ourselves to look beneath the surface. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you catch yourself in the grips of high expectations:
1. What is truly important about this to me?
2. What am I looking for the final outcome to provide me with?
3. What value(s) of mine if any are being stepped on here?
4. What values or parts of myself do I need to honor?
By getting clear on what you're actually after at the end of the day, it will help you open up to accept it in various forms. You can then begin to see it everywhere - beyond just in the way or place that you thought it would be. This is the Universe's magic. When we let go of what we want the most, then the Universe showers us with the very thing we wanted in the first place.
WHAT WE RESIST PERSISTS: HOLD ONTO ESSENCE, LET GO OF FORM
It is our great lesson as a people to remember our true nature and to evolve based on what is in front of us at this present moment. On the path of personal development and spiritual awakening, we are being called to dance in THIS very moment and to see everything as an opportunity for transcendence and evolution. When we hang on tight to our expectations then we miss the opportunity for dynamic change and growth. Resisting this change creates frustration, anger, resentment, self pity, stress and illness as what we resist only persists. There is a difference between envisioning our dreams and clinging to what we think it is supposed to look like. One is open, free, full of possibility and the other is closed, particular and insistent.
Therefore, we must learn to let go of WHAT we think it should look and instead, remain connected to how we intend the experience to FEEL. This is about letting go of the form something takes and choosing instead to connect to the essence of it; the underlying intention. In the example of my engagement, after fumbling around in the land of expectation for a short while, I was able to let go of the physical details I expected and instead appreciate the underlying effort, love and joy being expressed to me. That allowed me to relish in the entire experience and recognize the enormity of blessings in my life that I was being invited to receive. It didn't matter anymore what form it took, where we went, what we did, etc. because everything was a reflection of effort, love and joy. Feel the difference?
Begin practicing finding the underlying essence in your daily life. Let go of what you think it should look like (the form) and instead choose to recognize the essence of what is before you. Is the person in front of you expressing love even if they say it differently than you would? Are you experiencing fulfillment in your work even though this job is different than what you thought would make you happy? Does your body feel relaxed and peaceful despite the situation being different than what you thought would bring you peace? Start to tune in.
BECOMING OPEN & ACCEPTING THE FED-EX PACKAGE
By letting go of expectation we become OPEN. The funny thing is that we flatter ourselves thinking that our imagination is going to yield the best possible dream. How foolish! The Universe gives us blessings that are WAY more amazing than what we could ever imagine. This doesn't mean to stop dreaming or to not live intentionally. The opposite. This means live on purpose. Get super clear on what is most important to you, stick to that and let go of the rest. Let go of what it is supposed to look like.
I joke with my girlfriends that my Beloved showed up in a package that I didn't expect. His age, features, job, etc. were different than the image of my life parter that I always expected in my mind. For a long time, I innocently overlooked that fact that he was the one for me. It was like the Universe was handing me a golden Fed-Ex package and I kept insisting that they delivered to the wrong address. The more time we spent together during our courtship however, the more I could FEEL in my body and soul that I was at home with him. When I let go of how I thought it should be and instead allowed the joy of what was actually happening in the present moment, then it was like a light bulb went off and we recognized each other as soul mates.
The truth is that we cannot control what anything will be like. All we can do is set intention and do the important inner work to become very clear on our values and priorities. We can choose to act in alignment with our values and express our authentic truth. The rest is for us to release into the wind. The rest is for us to co-create with the Universe, like two teammates who create life together. We do our part and then we hand the rest over to a force larger than ourselves to provide the greatest lessons, blessings and opportunities for self actualization, connection and awakening.
I invite you to identify and release one expectation that you're currently attaching to that you know is holding you back. Get clear on the values and priorities that lie underneath it and then set it and yourself free. By doing so you'll be proving to yourself just how much you trust yourself and life in general; and you'll be opening to receive life's true gifts.
Happy releasing! Please share your comments below - I'd love to hear what opens up for you around this!
BY SAYING "NO" TO ONE THING,
WE SAY "YES" TO ANOTHER
Most everybody I speak to struggles with enforcing boundaries in their life or putting their own needs first. In an effort to go with the flow, keep the peace, make a good living, be in a relationship, etc. many people opt to keep the status quo instead of going for their dreams. There is a fear of upsetting other people, disappointing them, inconveniencing others, failing or not being understood. So, we suffer. We remain stuck in the mediocracy of life feeling overwhelmed, settling for good enough instead of phenomenal and becoming resentful and burnt out.
This is no way to live. Yet many of us are all too familiar with what it's like when we are afraid to say no to others. More so, many of us are familiar with what it's like to feel stuck in a job, relationship, social circles, etc. that simply don't fulfill us. Have you ever been afraid to leave the familiarity of your unsatisfying relationship out of fear that a better guy/gal won't come along? Have you ever been afraid to leave the golden handcuffs of your corporate job out of fear that your dream career might leave you penniless? Living this way is allowing fear to dominate your life. It simply won't work long term.
STUCK IN FEAR'S GRIP
As long as you are afraid to let go of the things that no longer serve you because you fear something better might not come along, you will remain stuck. In essence, you will be committing to the very things you don't want. For example, if you are saying yes to continually working non stop, you are essentially saying no to having time for yourself or having time for a loving, balanced relationship. If you are saying yes to being taken advantage of, you are essentially saying no to participating in empowered, respectful relationships with others. While saying NO can be scary and uncomfortable, it is imperative to say NO to those people and things that no longer serve you if you want to live a happy, fulfilled, purposeful and healthy life.
CONSIDER A REFRAME
I'd like to offer a reframe on saying NO. Consider that every time you say NO to one thing, you are effectively saying YES to something else. Think about saying NO as a new way to say YES to what you're truly after. For example: When you say NO to wearing a skirt, you are saying YES to wearing pants. When you say NO to processed foods, you are saying YES to increased energy, vitality and overall well-being. Here are some powerful examples to consider:
* When you say NO to settling for crumbs in your relationship, you are saying YES to committing to TRUE, authentic partnership in which you can be loved, adored, honored and respected.
* When you say NO more to feeling suffocated by your lucrative 9-5 job that bores you to death, you are saying YES to living in alignment with your true purpose and calling. You are saying YES to having an impact in the world simply by being happy and offering your value from that place.
* When you say NO to being last on your list of priorities, you are saying YES to filling up your tanks so that you can actually be present and generous around family, friends and co-workers.
* When you say NO to over-giving to family and friends, you are saying YES to being respected by others and to creating important balance and structure in your life.
* When you say NO to speaking dishonestly out of fear of disappointing others, you are saying YES to expressing yourself truthfully therefore creating the opportunity for deep understanding, appreciation and growth in your relationships.
* When you say NO to going to every social engagement you are invited to because you are too tired, you are saying YES to resting your body and giving yourself the downtime or breathing room you need.
READY TO SAY YES?
So.... what and who are you ready to say NO to? More importantly, what are you ready to SAY YES to? This is your life. This is your time. In order to be truly happy and healthy the way you long to be, you must be willing to SAY YES to your ultimate life. YES to who you really are. YES to the abundance, love, connection, freedom, authenticity and purpose you desire. You must be willing to take the risk of saying NO.
I invite you to take a risk TODAY and say NO to something that is no longer serving you. It is no one else's fault. People take advantage of us because we allow them to. Our lives become tedious and meaningless because we let them get this way. This world needs you to come alive. This world needs you to start saying YES to YOU by saying NO to others. There simply is no more room for settling.
NO IS ACTUALLY A GIFT
Saying NO does not have to be mean or rude. You can politely say no to someone's offer by saying "No, thank you". Or, "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It doesn't fit with my schedule but I appreciate the offer." Saying NO to social plans so that you can restore your tanks creates a version of you that will have greater capacity and compassion for others. Our world will be positively impacted by the version of you who has boundaries. For it is this version of you that will simply and graciously demand respect from others. It is this version of you who inspire others by serving as an example of someone who practices self care, boundaries, generosity and appreciation of others. Begin to notice how saying NO is actually a gift to the people around you and to our world. Notice how you show up when you are actually happy and at full capacity to generously engage with others. Notice your productivity levels and your compassion.
You do not need to apologize for saying no or give numerous reasons that justify your "NO"-ness to others. Simply practice saying NO as gently and graciously as you can. Practice with the waiter who offers you more water when you don't want any. Simply say: "No, thank you". Practice with the person who wants to schedule something at a time that is inconvenient for you. Simply say: "I'd love to get together however that time doesn't work. These are the times that work for me". See what opens up for you.
THIS IS A BIG DEAL
This is a big deal. In our society we are trained that NO is a bad thing. We get really good at saying YES to everything, even those things we don't want. This is especially true for women. When I learned to say NO it changed my life. It freed me up to heal my body, find my life's purpose, recognize the love of my life and deepen my relationships with family and friends. It allowed me to clear out all of those things that were weighing me down and to create tremendous joy and freedom in my life that I am truly grateful for.
I invite you to do the same. Please share what you are ready to SAY NO and YES to in the comments area. Let's start a movement! Let's SAY YES by saying NO! I very much look forward to hearing what you're ready for and to supporting you on your journey towards living your ultimate life. You deserve it.
When you re-invent yourself through conscious inner work and by taking responsibility for your life, things begin to shift. First there are internal shifts such as a deeper sense of inner peace, freedom or clarity and then external shifts start to take place such as meeting inspiring people who support your path or understanding how you can finally move on from that thing/person who has been holding you back. More than anything, as we begin to live in alignment with our values, the purest form of who we are begins to emerge. I experienced this first hand and continue to feel it deepening as I refine and embody my truth more over time. I see it in clients who begin to identify their core values and put themselves first, out-growing old patterns and discarding sabotaging illusions. I see it when we remove processed foods and toxins from the body and allow our body to be nourished by clean, whole foods - a pureness and power is created on a physical level. We return home to our truest selves. Life becomes rich. I am inspired to share one of my favorite poems with you that poetically describes how it feels to SEE YOURSELF, the TRUE YOU once again or maybe for the first time ever. It is called Love After Love.
Inviting all of you to feast on your life and to join me on this magical journey of living as the TRUE YOU.
Valentines Day.... the holiday of LOVE. The holiday that celebrates lovebirds, chocolate, roses and relationship. For some this is a dreaded holiday where the mindset of comparison and lack suffocate any potentially positive experiences. For others, it is a time to truly be grateful for the precious, bountiful love shared with another and to celebrate the blessing of romantic partnership through expressing love.
As we experience the LOVE holiday today, I am intrigued to explore another important avenue of love; quite possibly the most important loving relationship we will ever have: the one with ourselves. What if we took all of the energy that is funneled into Valentine's Day and focused it on loving ourselves more?
What if we gave ourselves permission to practice SELF LOVE as much as we practice loving others?
WHAT IS SELF LOVE?
Self love is at the heart of all growth and healing. It is at the core of human potential. For when self love is cultivated and allowed to blossom, the stage is set for experiencing the fullness of life and for extending natural, generous love towards others. We heal ourselves and therefore the planet through self love. It is our love for ourselves that inspires a desire for a better experience of our bodies and our lives. It is love of self that has us take responsibility for ourselves, motivates change and fortifies our commitment to our dreams, resiliency and joy. It is love of self that whispers to us to move beyond our self-sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs and to choose instead the route that is in the best interest of everyone involved. It is self love that serves as the spring-board towards shedding our old identity and EMBODYING our new one.
Self love means loving yourself even in comparison to others. Self love means having self respect and enforcing boundaries that cultivate your highest good. Self love means having the courage to put yourself first, even though you are afraid others may be disappointed, so that you can refuel your tanks and actually increase your capacity for others. Self love means accepting all of who you are - the good, the bad, the radiant and the not so radiant parts of your body and your personality. Self love means identifying your core values and then going out and actually living your life in alignment with those things that are most important to you. It means seeing self care as generous, not selfish. Self love means spending time with those people who support you and light you up and having the courage to gently let go of those relationships that are toxic and draining to you.
WHAT DOES SELF-LOVE CREATE?
When our self-love tanks become full, we begin to heal - emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. We begin to develop the graceful ability to sit with all of who we are and be whole. From there we become vulnerable, brave, loving and open. Life becomes juicy. Others now enhance our internal happiness as opposed to being the false source of happiness that we cling to. When we consciously fill our self-love tanks, we begin to build the muscle of positivity, attractiveness, alignment, inner peace and authentic empowerment. We develop courage, compassion, freedom and fulfillment. It is like tending to the soil of a great tree. When we water and nurture the soil, the roots will be vibrant, the trunk will grow strong and the leaves will come alive with brilliant colors of green and red.
So on this holiday dedicated to love, I ask you: How can you love yourself more? What would your love-life look like if you loved yourself too? How can you fill your self-love tanks?
Here are some TIPS for creating more self-love in your life:
Stand in front of the mirror (preferably naked!) and take a look at yourself. You may notice some critical thoughts enter your mind immediately about your body. If you need to, spend 30 seconds being critical. Get it out of the way. Then.... take a couple of long, deep breaths. Look into your own eyes and proclaim out loud to yourself: "I love you. I really love you.". You may repeat this a few times if you like. Then begin to shower your body with love. Speak lovingly to each part of your body that you see. Say out loud: "I love you eyes". "I love you ears; thank you for letting me hear such beautiful, loving statements". "I love you arms, you are strong". "I love you thighs, you are feminine and sultry". Notice what shifts. Do this every day for 3 weeks and see what changes for you.
Take a blank piece of paper and for 10 minutes write down all the things that you love about yourself. They can be significant or tiny. See if you can reach up to 20 things or more. For example: I love that I love my family. I love my dorky sense of humor. I love my ability to fix things around the house. I love my voice. I love my willingness to try new things.
LOVE IN ACTION
What is 1 new way that you can demonstrate self love today? Perhaps it is through speaking authentically or standing up for yourself. Perhaps you can open up to someone and practice being vulnerable. Maybe you can treat yourself to a rejuvenating night at home with an epsom salt bath and a good movie. Practice building your muscle of self love in daily life and see what opens up for you in your life.
Our world needs the version of you that is practicing self love. Your children need it, your spouse needs it, your friends and family need it. The people who you are going to inspire need it. Give yourself permission to become whole by loving your self more. Practice loving others and receiving love on this special day from the place of fullness that self-love brings. May your love cup spillith over.
Here's to love! May it flow deeply through you and may it help your light shine bright.
I'd love to hear your comments. What do you love about yourself?
WHAT DOES YOUR DREAM LIFE LOOK LIKE?
In our society we tend to throw around the phrase "life of your dreams" pretty casually, to the point where it has become cliche and quite cheesy. But think about those words for a moment: Life Of Your Dreams. Wow. What if you could really live a life so truly rewarding that it felt like you were living your dreams over and over again? What if you could actually have boundless energy, vibrant health, deep fulfillment, inner peace, money, love and purpose? Many think this is unrealistic. I'm here to assure you that it is absolutely possible to create this and then some.
Are your decisions helping you live the life of your dreams or are they holding you hostage in your own self-imposed prison? The choices we make greatly affect the life we live. This seems obvious, yet most of us don't realize the power that we have to create the life we truly want. When we have vision around who we want to become and start choosing in alignment with that then everything changes. Where do you currently reside?
Several years ago, I thought that good enough was as good as it got. I thought that because I excelled at my career, worked hard, had fun and made good money that I was on track. I thought that because I was thin and worked out regularly that I was healthy. I thought that one day my husband would appear so long as I cast a net wide enough to catch him. My life was good. And yet, it wasn't my DREAM LIFE. Something felt off deep down inside. I was over-extended and tired, my job lacked meaning and I was stuck on the perpetual dating treadmill. I wasn't living on purpose. I wasn't realizing the ripple effect of my choices in terms of how they were building my life and future.
It wasn't until I experienced some powerful wake-up calls in the form of major body-wide health breakdowns that I began to see the role I was playing in living a wonderful, mediocre life. As I began to work with coaches and healers, I was able to identify what my ultimate life and health truly consisted of. I clearly defined my dream life and realized that I could create it, slowly but surely. I explored what it truly meant to be a woman who embodied total wellness. I got clear about what I wanted to contribute in my life's work and experience in a loving partnership.
When we allow ourselves to dream big it helps us expand beyond our current situation. It allows us to see how we can take responsibility for our lives and what we have to change in order to have something different. If we don't change how we are choosing throughout the day, then things simply won't change. We will remain stuck in a self-imposed prison. As Albert Einstein said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". In order to get different results, we must understand where we'd like to go and make choices that will take us there. It might be scary, but change is required if we want something more.
So.... What does YOUR DREAM LIFE look like? If you had all the money in the world; if you knew you could not fail; if anything were possible; if your health was fantastic, who would you be? How would you act? What would you be doing with your body, your money, your energy, your love, your purpose and career? What would you express and contribute? How would you spend your free time? Who would be supporting you? Where would you be doing all of this and why?
I encourage you to become very clear on your answers to these questions. Play with it, dive into it, get curious and be bold. Stretch your imagination further than you think is possible. DREAM REALLY BIG. REALLY REALLY BIG.
THE GOLDEN KEY
Become clear on this vision of your Future Self and then.... here is the golden key to your success.... start choosing as if you were your Future Self now. I'll say that again: Start choosing as if you were your Future Self at this very moment. For example: if your Future Self is 40 pounds thinner, confident and enjoying yoga regularly then what choices would that person make when faced with a donut today? How would that person be spending their time today? How often would that person be doing yoga this week? What would that person trust about themselves in this very moment? What would their posture be like throughout the day? How would they communicate? After envisioning, we must get into action in order to create a change. We must become our dream selves now if we want to move forward in the direction of creating our dreams.
You can even choose your response to this Dream Big exercise. Are you going to allow yourself to criticize and punish yourself for not living your dream life now? Or are you going to choose to be inspired and simply make a different choice today that will propel you towards your vision?
Post a reminder note on your bathroom mirror where you will see it every day. This note should remind you to choose in alignment with your future self. For example:
* As a woman who embodies total wellness, I choose to: _______________________
* As a triathlete who spends his free time exercising outdoors, I choose to: _________________________
* As a woman who loves herself deeply and therefore attracts in a loving mate, I choose to: ________________________
* As a man who is working in a profession that he loves, I choose to: ______________________________
* As a retired man who travels the world with his wife, I choose to: ___________________________
In my Individual Coaching programs we work on refining who your Future Self is, what your dream life entails and how you can create it in a supported, empowered way. Contact me to learn more about how coaching can help you to change your life.
Dreaming BIG can only help us. What hurts us is when we remain too entangled in fear and worry to act on turning our dreams a reality one choice at a time. I invite you to take the leap of faith and see what happens! Your dream life is waiting for you and it's worth going for it!
I welcome your comments and invite you to share some fun facts about who your Future Self is!
To kick-off my blog, I am inspired to share one of my favorite poems titled “The Invitation”. This poem calls on us to be our greatest selves. It calls upon us to be true, courageous, vulnerable, willing, stead-fast and fully alive.
My intention for this blog is to provide information and inspiration that will help you choose to be fully alive – physically, emotionally and energetically. My dream is to share my story and my experience so that you and others may remember that we can create the health and life of our dreams by choosing over and over and over again to do so. This poem invites us to choose. This poem invites us to be bold, to look deep within and express our juiciest, most authentic, vibrant, human selves with our world.
I look forward to sharing the journey with you.
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Canadian Teacher and Author
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets
are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
I want to know if you can
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.