My Story of Truth & Transformation
I did it and so can you!
A Hidden Blessing
It took months of frustration and overwhelm before I realized that the health challenges brought to me were actually the best gift of my life and a doorway to the most authentic, nourished, loving, joyous, abundant life of my dreams. This is the story of how I stepped fully into my truth and in the process transformed myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It involved a deep commitment to myself, my dreams and creating change one choice at a time.
From Light to Dark
For most of my teenage and adult life, I thought I was fulfilled and healthy. I was free-spirited, active, ate salads, had long-lasting friendships, came from a great family, had a surprising sense of confidence and a cool, lucrative career as a film/photo producer. In 2004, I even hired a life coach to help me answer life's big questions and was awakened to practicing self love, taking risks, empowered communication and meditation. I thought I was on track. However over the years, I was too busy to hear my body’s signals that I was drained and unsatisfied. I was constantly on the go, stressed and depleted by my work-hard/play-hard lifestyle and could never shake the quiet longing to be doing something more meaningful with my life.
In January 2008 and again in January 2009, after catching some minor ailments abroad, I experienced the onset of several major health breakdowns that came in the form of severe adrenal exhaustion, auto-immune and digestive disorders. I suffered a relentless fatigue that wouldn’t lift for months, leaving me bed-ridden and wiped out for hours at a time. I experienced horrendous, confusing mood swings and my hair began to thin. My abdomen distended to where I looked 5 months pregnant. I developed food sensitivities, became hypoglycemic and experienced brain-fog, difficulty concentrating and insomnia that I had never experienced before. This lasted in varying degrees for roughly 3 years. It was like my whole body just shut down. I felt like I was hit by a truck and was in a deer-in-the-headlights state of overwhelm.
At first I went to every conventional doctor I could find in the U.S. and abroad. Then I went to numerous alternative practitioners and tried every alternative treatment under the sun. I learned some important facts here and there and yet no one could paint the whole picture for me so I just kept trucking along, doing my best to keep up with my life.
An "A-Ha" Moment
One day, in March ’09, I was sent home from an important photo shoot so that I could go rest. Yes, it had gotten so bad that clients were sending me home in the middle of a work day! I went to bed fed-up and angry with my body that was keeping me from being totally engaged in my life. I’ll never forget how deeply I slept that afternoon or how peacefully I awoke. As I awakened, quiet and rested, an overwhelming sensation of love for my body and my life-long dreams arose in me. I was amazed at how resilient my body actually was, how it had put up with so much. I realized that my body was incredible, wise and patient. It was clear to me that I was the one who needed to change, not my body. I realized that I was being called to something way bigger and that this was my opportunity to get clear on how to heal and how to become deeply fulfilled in my life by tuning in. The Universe had been calling for some time and finally, flat on my face and surrendered, I picked up the phone and began listening to it’s guidance.
The Commitment To My Dreams & Truth
I became a voracious reader and studied about the physiology of the human body. I found and hired the right healers and coaches and began to examine all parts of myself – not just the physical, but the emotional, mental and spiritual too. I learned the importance of self-care, self love and following our intuition. I began to take radical responsibility for the circumstances in my life - without getting angry at myself I simply owned that I played a role in how my life was. I saw that although I was a successful producer, I hadn’t felt a sense of purpose or true contribution in years. I admitted to myself that I had been allowing a slow drip of inauthenticity to exist in every aspect of my life - romantic relationships, career, even friendships and family. I noticed that although I had a many friends and a fun love life, I craved deeply conscious, inspired and spiritually AWAKE relationships. I observed how busy I was. I paid attention to the patterns that I had inherited from various sources and chose instead to stop engaging in those limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging habits. I finally honored my dreams of a gloriously expressive and purposeful career, a generously loving and alive partnership, a simple, healthy home life, real connections and conversations with family and wildly fulfilling and authentic friendships. If my life was out of alignment then I could do something about it. I reclaimed those dreams that had always existed in me. I committed to myself and the vision of greatness I had always had for my life. I began to change... one discovery and choice at a time.
What I've learned is that things don't just happen to us. We play a role in our own success and happiness based on our inner consciousness and truth. Our outer world reflects our inner light and it's our responsibility to find the light bulb within and turn it on. The good news is that we have the power to turn things around. Even when the circumstances pull us down lower than we've ever been, we have the power to shift our perspective about our circumstances. We have the power to choose, to commit, to evolve. Change is not easy at times and we cannot do it without support from others. I’ve learned to be patient, grateful, positive and to live as truthfully as I possibly can in every moment because that is what we were brought here to do. That is how we experience the miracle and magic of this life and it is from that place that we can evolve ourselves, impact others and heal the world.
My Life Now: Sustaining & Spreading The Light
I practice what I preach 100%. I have an unwavering commitment to how I eat and what I put in and on my body. I practice living as authentically, courageously, freely and lovingly as I can remember to do. I celebrate my wins and I return to center quickly when I notice that I've fallen off course. I engage regularly in activities that bring me JOY and relationships that are inspiring and healthy. I will not walk you towards your fears if I am not practicing facing my own. I work with my own amazing teachers to evolve my self-growth and training regularly. I'll meet you where you're at with compassion, conviction and belief in YOU.
I believe that if each of us took responsibility to embody our truth, in the smallest and largest ways we could each conceive of, then individually we would experience vibrant health, inner peace, gratitude and joy, while collectively, we would have the capacity to change the world.
Thank you so much for reading my story. Sharing it with you allows my light to shine even brighter and hopefully gives you permission to shine bright too. I am honored, humbled and deeply grateful to be walking this special and rewarding path of Embodied Truth. I hope you'll join me!